Meet Biscuit the Cat

Cat, St Mary's Church

About Biscuit


Name: Biscuit.
Age: 6.
Height: 9 Inches.
Appearence/Body Type: Slightly overweight.
Health: Excellent.


On the job.


Church cat.


Born (probably) in Upton St. Mary.


To keep the church, village, and local people in service to the feline inhabitants.


To sleep most of the time in the most comfortable, sunniest positions in the village.


None. Biscuit is fearless.




Loves cupcakes. Will suddenly tear around the church for apparently no reason whatsoever especially during the hours of 9 PM to 10 PM.


Sleeping, eating, investigating village happenings. Teasing humans.


Loud noise, commotion, change, visits to the vet.


Seen as aloof. Something of a diva who everyone wants to be friends with. Mercurial.


Biscuit was found as an hours-old kitten on Mrs. Oliver's porch in a village a few miles from Upton St. Mary. A big storm was raging and Biscuit's mother had taken her newborn litter there for safety. Mrs. Oliver was a cat-lover and took care of the litter until they were old enough to be adopted by the local people. Around the same time, the current vicar of St. Mary was being harangued by a parishioner who claimed she'd seen a mouse in the storage cupboard where the kneeling mats were stored. Inquiries were made and Biscuit found her way to St Mary's ostensibly as a mouser. She has never caught so much as a caterpillar. Ananbelle inherited Biscuit on her arrival in the parish.

“These are wonderful stories.”

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